Jun 30, 2011

New Goal: Grow Basil Immediately

This weekend, my dear friend Casey got me drunk.

But wait?!  What does this have to do with gardening you ask?  Oh don't worry, Casey is such a culinary genius that she mixed up a great cocktail with fresh basil from her garden, fresh locally grown strawberries*, lemonade, and gin.

The only downside is that it tastes so delish you don't realize how drunk you are until you make your husband drive you to McDonald's, order some french fries, and pass out before he can pull forward to the second window.  I'm not saying that happened to me, but I'm not saying it didn't.

What I learned from this experience is first, the way to a woman's heart is through a basil gin drink, and second, that I need to buy a basil plant asap.

*In full disclosure, I am not positive that the strawberries were local.  It is irrelevant to my drunkenness of that night.

Jun 28, 2011

Gardening = Extreme Couponing

Whoa Buddy!  I've got a baby zucchini growing!  I'm very impatient and wanted to pick it as soon as as I saw it today, but some how I was able to contain my excitement.  I'll post a picture of the little duder tomorrow.

I noticed yesterday that Kroger wanted $0.79 for a zucchini.  Fuck that noise.  Growing your own stuff is kind of like extreme couponing.  Maybe once I'm actually picking veggies I'll try to keep track of how much money I'm saving.  Sigh.  As if I needed to be an even bigger nerd, I'm now planning an Excel spreadsheet charting my cost-saving veggies?  What's wrong with me?  [Don't answer that.  I will not hesitate to shank a mother fucker.]

In other news, I've got about 6 green tomatoes.  I've already decided that this first batch of tomatoes are going to be picked green for fried green tomatoes.  They don't sell green tomatoes at Kroger, which probably makes them more valuable for my tally.  Plus, picking them early will help with my ridiculous impatience.

Jun 23, 2011

Miracle Grow Mishap

About two weeks ago, I went to Rural King during my lunch hour.  I originally went to get some plant supports for my tomatoes that seemed to be going through a growth spurt, but got easily sidetracked, like a baby distracted by shiny objects.

Not only does Rural King offer free popcorn (oh yeah, now you're interested, right?), but they have a pretty kick ass gardening section.  I was able to score some gardening gloves that are both functionable and fashionable.  What what?!  (My next shopping mission will include a floppy hat.)

I also picked up some Miracle Grow especially formatted for garden veggies.  A farmer who was in there talked me into it.  Okay, I'm not positive he was a farmer, but he was nice and old and in Rural King on a Monday at 12:30 wearing jeans instead of office clothes.  Using this criteria he seemed like a garden expert to me.  He promised me that I would see results if I used Miracle Grow once every two weeks or so.  Game on.

Fast forward through the rest of the boring day at work until I get home with my sweet new gardening paraphernalia.  As soon as the afternoon heat had passed, I carefully followed the directions to mix the Miracle Grow in my cute two-gallon watering can (another great purchase of the day), and watered my little garden.  It didn't take long.

Seemed like mission accomplished.

Later that night, as I tried to go to bed, I realized that I had a couple mosquito bites.  Not a big deal.  Then I noticed a couple more.  I finally rolled my lazy ass out of bed and went to the bathroom to grab some anti-itch cream.  In the (completely unflattering) light of the bathroom, I was able to actually see myself.  No, I didn't have a couple mosquito bites on my legs.  I had hives all over my freaking body, with a couple of very well pronounced ones on my legs.

Fuck.

I'll spare the details of my miserable night with hives.  It ended with me going to Urgent Care and getting a shot in my ass.  High point - the nurse complimented me on my pig tattoo.

After reviewing the day and what could have possibly caused the hives, I logically blamed the Miracle Grow.  And so, the box was shoved to the corner of the garage where I eventually planned on guilting the Hubby into applying it to my garden for me.

But yesterday, I broke out in hives at work.  Only this time, there is not Miracle Grow to blame.

Double Fuck.

So, it looks like giving my garden some Miracle Grow is on the to-do list for tonight.

Jun 21, 2011

First Squash of the Season!

Although, it didn't come from my garden, tonight the Hubby and I had our first home-grown squash of the season!


It was quite a great gift from my great Mother-In-Law, since they were some of their first garden picks.  I decided to keep it simple and saute it up.




Served with cornish hen that I roasted all day in the crock pot and some red potatoes.  Yes, I know, I'm a paralegal by day and rockstar chef by night.


Made for a nice Tuesday night!  Can't wait til I get veggies out of my garden!  Next year, I'll add squash to my must-have list.

Jun 16, 2011

Operation Blackberry

Next to our little homestead is an empty lot.  Well, empty as there isn't a house.  It is actually overgrown with all sorts of vegetation.  Usually, we just ignore it, and hey, at least wild green growth is better than neighbors, right?



But, if you look closely, you can see that there are some pretty awesome blackberries growing in there.   Who wouldn’t love to have blackberries available at any time?  The problem is, that before I can even try to fight with the birds for the delish fruit, many of the blackberry bushes are choked out by honeysuckle vines.



[Sidebar, many people think they are weeds, and I understand they can quickly take over an area.  I am not that person.  I love honeysuckles.  One of my favorite things about our little house is the scent of honeysuckles floating through the windows on a late spring night.]

So began Operation Blackberry, initiated by my dear friend Nikki.  Only she could believe that gardening is appropriate after drinking wine for 8 hours on the wine trails.  After arming ourselves with shovels, we were prepared to attempt a rescue mission for a couple of blackberry bushes to plant in my yard.

Things got ugly.




I was not as strong of a gardening rockstar as Nikki, and quickly gave up once I got the wine spins.  However, we (okay, she) successfully managed to free three plants from the wilderness.

We then planted them, albeit some what hastily, in a safe location along my back fence where they would get plenty of sunshine.

And then they died.

The End.

Jun 15, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

[As this is my first Wordless Wednesday I thought I had better give credit where credit was due.  So, in full disclosure, I completely plagerized this amazing idea from Grow Damnit!]










Jun 9, 2011

True Dedication

Dinner with the Girls = Watering the garden at 10 pm with a glass of wine in my free hand. 

I'm calling this night a success.

Jun 8, 2011

Failures - Blah

Well, my first attempt at the garden failed.  Not because of me, but because of my two monsters pictured below.



Yeah, they're cute, and I love them, but they decided it would be a grand idea to dig up my garden as first planted.  And why wouldn't they?  I mean, it was a nice soft ground, so they didn't have to work as hard to dig a deep hole and roll around in the mud.  Effing spoiled bastards.

But, I didn't let this stop me.  I have since replanted the garden, minimizing the contents, which is probably a good thing for my first one.  I cut out the lettuce, radishes, and green onions.  They weren't salvageable from garden massacre, and I didn't think with the heat that they would sprout back up.

Also this time, I laid out the black landscaping mesh down, and then cut holes for my plants.  That should cut down on having to weed.  My Dear Hubby has also constructed an awesome dog blocker out of some chicken wire.  Although the giant beasts could still get in there if they really wanted, I'm counting on their laziness.

Overall, I'm happier with this final project than my original.  So, maybe the first failure was really a success.  I'll post pictures soon of the actual garden, but until then, here's my new streamlined garden, courtesy of www.growveg.com.